I hope you are well.
I dearly miss the close knit community of adoption mommas. You are all important to me…though I am not among your ranks now. My heart remains with you as we shared so many experiences.
I am doing well. Dave and I are living in Virginia and learning to love the life God has given us…though it looks so different from the life we planned. We have recently taken a trip to Paris to celebrate our anniversary. It was wonderful! Turns out my high school French stuck. I impressed Dave by having conversations with Parisians on the day we arrived…it is always handy to be able to order pastries at a tiny, off the beaten path bakery. These are memories to be cherished!
Today I stopped by to say hello to you because an interesting article came across my social media screens this morning. It is long, but it asks some good and serious questions about international adoption without being judgmental or really even presenting concrete answers and opinions. It just presents the questions. It is primarily about Korean adoptees, but addresses China, Guatemala, and Ethiopia as well. The adoption community was fairly cruel in their responses to this article, as you might imagine. The comment boards lit up with vicious reactions by adoption families who felt defensive as a result of this article. I am not sharing it to hurt anyone, but I do think this is a valuable perspective on an important question. If you read it, I would love to know what you think.
Here is the article: Why a Generation of Adoptees is Returning to South Korea
Here’s a powerful quote:
“How can I weigh the loss of my language and culture against the freedom that America has to offer, the opportunity to have the same rights as a man? How can a person exiled as a child, without a choice, possibly fathom how he would have ‘turned out’ had he stayed in Korea? How many educational opportunities must I mark on my tally sheet before I can say it was worth losing my mother? How can an adoptee weigh her terrible loss against the burden of gratitude she feels she has for her adoptive country and parents?”
As far as the Scott’s are concerned…our adoption nightmare is not yet over. The Council on Accreditation is still investigating our complaint against Lifeline Children’s Services. Yes, they said it should take less than 12 months. Yes, we are at 13. But we are sticking it out. I get calls and emails regularly from families hurt by agencies. Just last month I heard about another family subjected to what may turn out to be a very similar scam to the one we were victims of. The adoption community needs to be aware. So we will stay the course.
And we will open the conversation.
Is there a better way? Are we living life upside down?